...The next one...

Ok, so it's been so long since I have posted anything that I'm pretty sure hardly anyone is going to read this, so I should be blogging to a very few...not that it matters, I suppose.

Saturday was my birthday...a whoppin' 32...and I decided weeks ago that I was going to treat myself. I did. The short story of it is that I got my nose pierced.

Alright Olsens, get up off the floor!!!

I know. Crazy, right? Well, not really. Not for me anyways. The longer story of it is this. I have wanted a nose ring since I could remember...early jr high probably. Though my parents (dad) didn't approve of double pierced ears, I rebelled and did my left ear in my room one night in jr high. I went on to do my cartilage of the same ear some time in high school (again in my bedroom) and then to do a third piercing on my left lobe and a second in that same cartilage all in college. I never dared do my nose because what would people think? An ear is one thing and fairly common, but my nose?!? They might all think I'm dying and going to Hell. I wouldn't want people to think that based on my nose now would I? So I never got one.

Granted the dying and going to Hell portion was a bit of drama that holds a bit of truth for some, but it goes to say that I have always felt somewhat under a microscope in my family. "Michelle would never do that." "Shelly is so good...she wouldn't do that." "You're so-an-so's grand daughter and you're better than that." Or my second grade teacher grabbing me gently but seriously under the chin (the "look at me" grab) and tell me how disappointed she was in me that she saw me outside one day after school, at my house, in pants and that I should have known better. I'm sure all that is only my perception, but we come from a family (on both sides of my family) that in our Christian bubble world is pretty well known and we had certain shoes to wear, or so I felt.

I allowed those feelings to get me and keep me more concerned with the approval of people over the approval of God. Once it started to truly sink in that no matter what I have been taught, it isn't what's on the outside that God looks at and is pleased by, but it's the heart, I realized that I will never be able to control what people think when they make a big deal out of an eternally insignificant thing. Fill in the blank what that insignificant thing is. I'm sure you all can think of a dozen or so at least. Furthermore, I shouldn't even care about what these people think when it's their approval I am seeking.

I am 32 and I am finally working on having "an audience of One." I am thrilled and oddly enough (I know some of you are baffled by this) I chose the outward expression of my inner change to be this nose ring. Do I believe God called me to do it or that He wanted me to do it? No, I won't go and say that, but I will say He is more pleased with the heart of the young lady who pierced her nose over the one that was worried about being looked at negatively by family or friends because of [preference] choices I make. I no longer want to live my life doing and not doing because it might please or displease some person; a sinner just like me. Does that sound harsh? I don't intend it to, but I think that's a pit we all find ourselves in from time to time as Christians. Do you agree?

What I want to say now is "Now stick that in your pipe and smoke it" but I suspect that wouldn't be the appropriate thing. :-0 I could say that now all I have to do is get a tattoo...No. Probably shouldn't do that either. I guess what I will do is leave you with the lyrics to Big Daddy Weave's "Audience of One."

I come on my knees
To lay down before You
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know You
Seeking Your face and not only Your hand
I find You embracing me just as I am

And I lift these songs
To You and You alone
As I sing to You
In my praises make Your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and You are Son
As Your Spirit flows free
Let Him find within me
A heart that beats to praise You
And now just to know You more
Has become my great reward
To see Your kingdom come
And Your will be done
I only desire to be Yours,Lord

So what could I bring
To honor Your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
And all that I have
Is the life that You’ve given me
So Lord let me live for You
My song with humility
And Lord as the love song
Of my life is played
I have one desire
To bring glory to Your name

.............................exhale.....................................